kim hope
news

Rollercoaster by kim
Posted 19 Jun 2006

Sigh. Every four months seems to be the best I can do with this blog. I guess it does mean that I've got a fair bit to post now though, so here goes...

Firstly, everything's shaping up well for my first solo Edinburgh Fringe show. Show information at this point is - it's called Rollercoaster, it's on at the Gilded Balloon Teviot, 7.45pm, and I'm really, really very incredibly excited about it. Oh, and thoroughly daunted. But you get that.

Next, my niece, Miss Felise Patricia Young - she is of such elevated status within our family that I feel I must use her full title - is almost five months old now and is, of course, remarkably advanced for her age and the most beautiful baby/child in the world. I'm not biased, just because she's my niece. Ask any of my family, her father David, or any of Tina's friends. 100% consensus.

Thirdly, I had the exquisite good fortune to perform in Rotterdam recently. What a remarkable experience from beginning to end. The gig was for a t.v. show called The Comedy Factory, and featured excellent U.S comics including Doug Stanhope and Ahmed Ahmed, the brilliant Milton Jones [UK] and some wonderful Dutch comedians. Not that I understand a word of Dutch, but the reaction of the fabulous Dutch crew and gorgeous Dutch crowds did the translating for me. [Did I use the word 'dutch' enough in that last bit? Let's play a drinking game. Every time you read the word 'dutch' - including now - you have to have a shot of vodka. You'll be utterly smashed by the end of this blog. Just to guarantee that... dutch,dutch,dutch,dutch,dutch. The drunker you are, the funnier I am... or, just, the drunker you are.]

The language barrier was initially a concern, but as the Dutch [scull!] speak fluent English, it posed no problem at all. The people I met there also spoke the universal language of booze [perhaps the term 'Dutch courage' refers to the ability to function efficiently and happily despite sleep deprivation and a raging hangover that would bring down a stampedeing bull elephant], and thanks to the hospitality of Marcel and all the lovelies from the 'Men At Work' production company, there was an abundant supply of social lubricant. Great country, great crew, great crowds and great comedians. All in all, a memorable and valuable experience.

Oh dear. There is more I wanted to say but Australia are just about to play Brazil in the World Cup. I have to watch. Sure, it'll be with my hands over my face, peering through my fingers, but I must. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

XK

insert witty title here by kim
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Hello and how's 2006 treating you? It's been over 4 months since my last entry and I've been having a blast, gigging all over the UK and South Africa, having a white Christmas in Kent and spending New Years Eve in Killyleagh, Northern Ireland.

Thanks to everyone who's emailed, it's been great hearing from all of you. The enquiries after my sister Tina have been greatly appreciated too. I'm thrilled to report that not only is Tina happy and in excellent health, but also, on January 25th this year, she gave birth to a gorgeous little girl - Felise Patricia Young. Mother, Father, baby all doing well. Grandmother beside herself with joy. Grandfather puffed up with pride. A little ray of sunshine has come into the world...

I'm keeping this brief, otherwise I'll start talking about the weather again- because it has been glorious! Perfect for mulled wine. Mmmmmmmm... mulled wine... and I can see the pub from where I'm sitting... 'bye!!!!

XX Kim

SCANDAL!!!! by kim
Posted 8 Oct 2005

SO much has been written of late about Kate Moss and her friends, aka Cocaine Kate and the Mosse Posse - oh, does the wit of the tabloid journalist know NO bounds? - that I'd like to add my 2 cents worth [that's less than 1p- I'll be brief].

Wow. Big surprise. The girl's so thin she's practically see-through. Of course she relied upon chemicals for sustenance. The huge scoop would've been pics of Katherine the Slight eating something. A shot of the fashion insect hunched over a table hoeing into a big pile of fish and chips... There's your news story right there... Hold the front page!!!!

The blog Blog by kim
Posted 19 Sep 2005

Blogs. Clearly I'm crap at them. This website has been going for over 2 years now, thanks to Donna and Peter's patience and prodding, and I've written, what, five?

Each time I promise I'll be better, like an errant lover I beg you to stay with me cos I'll make it up to you, then I meander off again, only to return, all apologies and excuses... but now I admit it. I have, of late, realised... not that much goes on in my life!!!

I'm not crying out for sympathy here. It's simply that, in this celebrity-infested world, my antics just don't cut it. There's been no drug-fuelled threesomes with supermodels and actors- mind you, if there was, I'd hardly need to write that up in blog form, that's what the tabloids are for- but a gentle shift up the Thames from Kingston to St Katherines Dock after a month in Edinburgh.

I'm having a lovely time in the UK, enjoying the gigs and the travel, but not a sniff of paparazzi desperate to snap me, despite my wandering around Liverpool before a show WITHOUT makeup, for the lastest edition of Who/NW/Heat/People/Now. I try to look as conspicuously inconspicuous as possible [cap, enormous sunglasses, takeaway coffee -double decaf soy skim no froth], but no joy.

There are so many REAL celebrities demanding your attention. They deserve their fame too, because they lived in a share house with a pack of other needy wannabees, show-offs and whingers for a few weeks. Mind you, I went to drama school. I lived like that for three years. Did I get an FHM deal? Hardly. [Ergh. Not that I would get my rack out - not so much a strip tease and a strip threat! ].

I need scandal. I'll see what I can do. I might have a strong cup of green tea, try to get on a bus with only a 20 pound note and cause a stir when the driver asks if I've got anything smaller; "Smaller than a 20? How DARE you!!! Don't you know who I THINK I am???". Or crash a red-carpet film premiere wearing only a belt, a netball skirt and the entire stock of the Maybelline cosmetics stand on my face. No. That wouldn't make me stand out at all.

Leave it with me... Perhaps marraige to a washed-up 80's popstar is the answer. Hell, if I wait a couple of months I reckon Peter Andre'll be back on the market. [Double ergh. No again. Not even for the cover of TV Week.]

XX K

home
biography
pictures
news
contact 

“ Hope is a very talented performer who obviously thrives in front of a large audience? she bursts onto the stage and maintains a frenetic, cartoonish pace throughout her show ”

—The Age, Melbourne

© 2007 Kim Hope