kim hope

Rollercoaster - 19 Jun 2006

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 00:36:36 EST

Sigh. Every four months seems to be the best I can do with this blog. I guess it does mean that I've got a fair bit to post now though, so here goes...

Firstly, everything's shaping up well for my first solo Edinburgh Fringe show. Show information at this point is - it's called Rollercoaster, it's on at the Gilded Balloon Teviot, 7.45pm, and I'm really, really very incredibly excited about it. Oh, and thoroughly daunted. But you get that.

Next, my niece, Miss Felise Patricia Young - she is of such elevated status within our family that I feel I must use her full title - is almost five months old now and is, of course, remarkably advanced for her age and the most beautiful baby/child in the world. I'm not biased, just because she's my niece. Ask any of my family, her father David, or any of Tina's friends. 100% consensus.

Thirdly, I had the exquisite good fortune to perform in Rotterdam recently. What a remarkable experience from beginning to end. The gig was for a t.v. show called The Comedy Factory, and featured excellent U.S comics including Doug Stanhope and Ahmed Ahmed, the brilliant Milton Jones [UK] and some wonderful Dutch comedians. Not that I understand a word of Dutch, but the reaction of the fabulous Dutch crew and gorgeous Dutch crowds did the translating for me. [Did I use the word 'dutch' enough in that last bit? Let's play a drinking game. Every time you read the word 'dutch' - including now - you have to have a shot of vodka. You'll be utterly smashed by the end of this blog. Just to guarantee that... dutch,dutch,dutch,dutch,dutch. The drunker you are, the funnier I am... or, just, the drunker you are.]

The language barrier was initially a concern, but as the Dutch [scull!] speak fluent English, it posed no problem at all. The people I met there also spoke the universal language of booze [perhaps the term 'Dutch courage' refers to the ability to function efficiently and happily despite sleep deprivation and a raging hangover that would bring down a stampedeing bull elephant], and thanks to the hospitality of Marcel and all the lovelies from the 'Men At Work' production company, there was an abundant supply of social lubricant. Great country, great crew, great crowds and great comedians. All in all, a memorable and valuable experience.

Oh dear. There is more I wanted to say but Australia are just about to play Brazil in the World Cup. I have to watch. Sure, it'll be with my hands over my face, peering through my fingers, but I must. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!

XK

insert witty title here - 15 Feb 2006

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 06:28:44 EST

Hello and how's 2006 treating you? It's been over 4 months since my last entry and I've been having a blast, gigging all over the UK and South Africa, having a white Christmas in Kent and spending New Years Eve in Killyleagh, Northern Ireland.

Thanks to everyone who's emailed, it's been great hearing from all of you. The enquiries after my sister Tina have been greatly appreciated too. I'm thrilled to report that not only is Tina happy and in excellent health, but also, on January 25th this year, she gave birth to a gorgeous little girl - Felise Patricia Young. Mother, Father, baby all doing well. Grandmother beside herself with joy. Grandfather puffed up with pride. A little ray of sunshine has come into the world...

I'm keeping this brief, otherwise I'll start talking about the weather again- because it has been glorious! Perfect for mulled wine. Mmmmmmmm... mulled wine... and I can see the pub from where I'm sitting... 'bye!!!!

XX Kim

SCANDAL!!!! - 8 Oct 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 05:21:57 EST

SO much has been written of late about Kate Moss and her friends, aka Cocaine Kate and the Mosse Posse - oh, does the wit of the tabloid journalist know NO bounds? - that I'd like to add my 2 cents worth [that's less than 1p- I'll be brief].

Wow. Big surprise. The girl's so thin she's practically see-through. Of course she relied upon chemicals for sustenance. The huge scoop would've been pics of Katherine the Slight eating something. A shot of the fashion insect hunched over a table hoeing into a big pile of fish and chips... There's your news story right there... Hold the front page!!!!

The blog Blog - 19 Sep 2005

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 02:12:01 EST

Blogs. Clearly I'm crap at them. This website has been going for over 2 years now, thanks to Donna and Peter's patience and prodding, and I've written, what, five?

Each time I promise I'll be better, like an errant lover I beg you to stay with me cos I'll make it up to you, then I meander off again, only to return, all apologies and excuses... but now I admit it. I have, of late, realised... not that much goes on in my life!!!

I'm not crying out for sympathy here. It's simply that, in this celebrity-infested world, my antics just don't cut it. There's been no drug-fuelled threesomes with supermodels and actors- mind you, if there was, I'd hardly need to write that up in blog form, that's what the tabloids are for- but a gentle shift up the Thames from Kingston to St Katherines Dock after a month in Edinburgh.

I'm having a lovely time in the UK, enjoying the gigs and the travel, but not a sniff of paparazzi desperate to snap me, despite my wandering around Liverpool before a show WITHOUT makeup, for the lastest edition of Who/NW/Heat/People/Now. I try to look as conspicuously inconspicuous as possible [cap, enormous sunglasses, takeaway coffee -double decaf soy skim no froth], but no joy.

There are so many REAL celebrities demanding your attention. They deserve their fame too, because they lived in a share house with a pack of other needy wannabees, show-offs and whingers for a few weeks. Mind you, I went to drama school. I lived like that for three years. Did I get an FHM deal? Hardly. [Ergh. Not that I would get my rack out - not so much a strip tease and a strip threat! ].

I need scandal. I'll see what I can do. I might have a strong cup of green tea, try to get on a bus with only a 20 pound note and cause a stir when the driver asks if I've got anything smaller; "Smaller than a 20? How DARE you!!! Don't you know who I THINK I am???". Or crash a red-carpet film premiere wearing only a belt, a netball skirt and the entire stock of the Maybelline cosmetics stand on my face. No. That wouldn't make me stand out at all.

Leave it with me... Perhaps marraige to a washed-up 80's popstar is the answer. Hell, if I wait a couple of months I reckon Peter Andre'll be back on the market. [Double ergh. No again. Not even for the cover of TV Week.]

XX K

Fancy meeting YOU here! - 15 Jun 2005

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 23:28:22 EST

Hello from my 'still- under- construction- due-to-my- jetlag [oh how glamorous] and- general- ineptitude- not- due- in- any- way- to- Donna- and- Peter [my web hosts and designers at Creative Contingencies and the very personifications of loveliness and patience]' website www.kimhope.com If you're still at my old website, come on in - The water's fine!

And hello from leafy Kingston in the 'summery- apart- from- the- rain- which- is- very- similar- to- Melbourne' United Kingdom. Oh dear. Here I am in one of the greatest places on earth for comedy and all I'm talking about is the weather. Over the next few months I will be attempting to re-assess my priorities, and will post my progress on this site.

Have already performed in Dubai which was brilliant, but so incredibly hot that... oh no, I'm doing it again... there's that weather update you SO long for... I'll sign off before I start on the 5-day forecast [or is it 'forcast'?]. You never know, one day, perhaps, it WILL start raining men. One would need a sturdy umbrella for that particular deluge - or perhaps a suit of armour - and just how beneficial to the single women of the world would such a downpour be? It'd be carnage! Even the blokes who actually SURVIVED the impact would be a little worse for wear...

Ok, I'm getting an image - I need to move away from the computer and have a nap now.

Mwah! XK

Confused? - 14 May 2005

Sat, 14 May 2005 20:40:40 EST

Hello, thanks for dropping by. My website is currently being transformed and can be viewed at kimhope.com. Hence my prior welcome. If you've already gone straight there, clever you,forget you ever got this message. Hope that's cleared things up a little. Now, excuse me, I need a lie down and a martini.

2005 - 13 May 2005

Fri, 13 May 2005 18:22:08 EST

Welcome to the new-look website. Thanks to Donna and Peter at Creative Contingencies [truly, truly wonderful people and I'm not writing this because they have withheld my supply of vodka until I do... even though they have...], and to Alan Moyle, aka Wombat [who made me look presentable even though he took my pic at 10am during Comedy Festival whilst I had a headcold...].

More news - and praise- as it comes to hand. I don't even know if that last sentence made sense. I guess this is when I should hit the 'delete' button... nah... print it Pete!!!

October - 2 Oct 2003

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 15:39:50 EST

Hey, thanks for reading... both of you! Back in Melbourne, having spent 2 weeks in glorious W.A, touring with the outrageous Puppetry of the Penis show. Albany, Mandurah, Bunbury, Kalgoorlie... all of `em bang up for the genital origami fest! Also had a fab week in Sydney, gigging around, enjoying the gorgeous Sydney weather, getting drunk, falling over and spraining my ankle... aaaaaaaah, the glamour of showbiz! In October I`ll be back on the road with P.O.T.P, travelling to Mt Isa [where I spent 3 years as a child - cue Barbra Streisands 'The Way We Were'- oh, ho, memories...] and Darwin, then back to Melbourne to play in some of my favourite rooms... the Commercial, the Espy, and a new, kick-arse room in Richmond, the Aqualounge! So, if any other exciting things happen, like Jamie Durie has a change of heart or I have ONE day where I stay sober, you`ll be the first to read it here... I know how you worry... Mwah!!!

My new website - 27 Aug 2003

Wed, 27 Aug 2003 16:38:09 EST

Welcome to my website! How exciting is this? Perhaps Adam Richard will read this out on his Triple J spot on Wednesday arvos - I'm just like Anna Kournikova now! (I also disappear after the first round, so never buy me a drink) Just to let you know what's coming up... On the 27th August, I'll be appearing at the Comedy Lair and I've got a few gigs in Sydney coming up soon too, but more on that next time. I'm still pursuing my dreams of world domination or marriage to Jamie Durie - whichever happens first. Both are equally plausible.